Angular Artifacting In Mars Express Images

I've seen tons of "analysis" of ESA Mars Express images that "proove" life once existed on Mars.

Here's an example of some of the misleading image analysis:

Guys.... C'mon.  

Utilizing the same image from the ESA catalog I did my own "anaylsis"....  Voila!

Ooooo... Spooky!

Life on Mars?

Hehe... Not quite.  

Let's try some similar anaylsis with other photos and see if the same holds true.  

In fact... let's use the big grand-daddy of them all.... the Cydonia plateau.  Not familiar?  Think the "face on Mars".

Here's the Viking I image that sparked the whole controversy.  

Here's the latest imagery from the Mars Express of the same region and then some.  Let's focus just on the "face".  It's dead-center of the image below.

Using the high-quality TIFF images and doing a little anaylsis, look what we find.  It's worth noting the resolution of the color image is 13.7m/pixel.

Whoa!  Geometric patterns that can't possibly be natural!  Evidence of life on Mars!

Let's just double-check our work before we apply for the Nobel Prize.  Let's take a black-and-white image of the same region.

Ok... warm up your speechwritting skills... Nobel Committee, here we come!

What?!?!?!  They're gone!?!?!?!  DAMN!

You have to analyze the photographs in a different spectrum of data because of the lack of color, hence the colorization differences in the two analysis.  However, you can see that there are not striations in the anaylsis of the black-and-white image.

Why?

THEY AREN'T THERE.

Unfortunately it's due to the quality of the CCD employed.  

Mucking about with Photoshop filters is not photo analysis.  Please, before you go an embarass yourself, make sure your theories hold up in all circumstances.